Dirty Mistake

Two things first: 1) I intended to write two different posts but decided just to combine them. 2) The title is not intended to be "adult oriented" but is in fact the two different posts titles put together. I could separate them with a hyphen or whatever but I didn't.

Dirty:
I'm full of anxiety at this point. Its similar to being on week 13 of medical clearance. I've not heard anything and starting to think I should. I've asked around and gotten different responses of how long it takes from clearance to invitation and so on. Some heard back within a week or two and one heard back in three months. Although the three month threw me. I mean hearing back in November for a program in June? What the heck yo?

Anywho...since I didn't get a real answer from my recruiter I decided to scrounge around PC's website for an answer. Their search thing bites. So instead I sent an inquiry to them which I'm guessing gets rerouted to the closest regional HQ to the IP Address (took me a bit to figure that out). The response was in layman terms was "have you checked your toolkit lately?" in which I knew I have and it said it was under review for placement..."if you forgot your username or password contact us" nope still know it..."or you can call placement office at..." ahh there's the number and option.

Upon calling I get the message "if you are calling to update your contact information, accepting an invitation, etc please leave your name and social security number with a brief message...we are sorry we cannot get to you at this time due to an influx of invitation inquiries". I left an inquiry about my invitation and I felt dirty. I didn't want to be THAT volunteer thats really nosey and asking for more information instead of waiting. But I learned after week 10 to be a bit pushy at times. Definitely needed to be pushy there so I thought a little question couldn't hurt. So I feel dirty for coming off like that.

Mistake:
I think it was a mistake on telling a lot of folks about me doing the PC, not so much my blog but the whole thing, because its now at the point where people ask every time I see them after some time. "Hey why aren't you gone yet?" "When are you leaving again?" "Any idea of where you are going? Is it official?" "Do you know where your layovers will be?" I needed to tell my family. Then I needed to tell my closer friends so I would have SOME support. Then I had to tell a couple other friends to get ACTUAL support. But as soon as I hit that level it went spiralling into everyone knowing.

I had no intention of telling the people I work with about it. My boss knew because she wrote the rec form. A co-worker knew because she is friends with my boss and her and I get along. Another co-worker knew because I told them. A few months later and I get asked what I plan on doing at a conference by an advisor at a conferne and upon telling them I forgot my boss'(another one...the one I don't like)sister had overheard. Next day at work I had people asking about where I'd be going. :-/ It was a vicious cycle I couldn't jump off of. So I guess the anxiety would be less if people didn't know.

I swear the next time I update this I'll know SOMETHING about the next phase for me. Whether it's "you need to do more volunteering", "sorry we haven't gotten to you", or "you are going to X".