Strung Out

Thanks to the mysterious B, formerly known as anonymous?, for the words of encouragement and giving me the feeling that I am not alone in the quest for an invitation to join the Peace Corps.

All the waiting for me makes me wonder if I'll even get an invitation. I assumed that since I made it past nomination, medical/dental clearance, and came out unscathed I'd be guranteed an invite. Who knows I might be. But I'll have to wait to find out.

In the mean time I'll discuss my emotional lagging a bit, or a lot..whichever. I'm not really depressed or malcontent just...unsatisfied and overly bored. This happens to me every year after Christmas. Yay Christmas. Get the great gifts and its good for the day. Then the 26th comes and its like...wow 364 days left until that feeling of anxiety. I found myself thinking about that the other day at work. I was doing a bunch of busy work when someone asked how my Christmas was. I thought of all the gifts I got, can't complain other than the fact that I've not had the time to REALLY enjoy any of them, and thought "what I really wanted is to not be here this time next year". Sound weird? Yeah. But if you look at the gifts I asked for, and got, you'd understand it.

I asked for a few video games (Gears of War, Call of Duty 3, NCAA Football) to help pass the time till June. Requested an acoustic guitar, which I got. Fender, left-handed (take that Hendrix!). Wanted that so I could learn how to play during the 2 years away. And a couple of big books to read while I'm gone. Complete work of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Cultural Literacy should do the work.

Its like being stuck in second gear. Which is a HORRIBLE analogy seeing as even I don't get that. How about no-man's land or stuck between the screen door and the main door? Thats better. I'm just waiting on word before I can make any movement but at the same time I feel as though times taking too long.

Plus I've yet to wrap my mind around the invites. Some people are now receiving invitations for February, to be honest I'd love a bump to February because I know I'd be going to Ukraine or Romania, and others are getting theirs now for June, blast you B! Makes me wonder about the Azerbaijan. Maybe I'll get Georgia...or Armenia. I don't know but I wish I'd get a clue.

If I received my invite tomorrow would things change? Not really. I mean I'd be elated and excited to the Nth degree. Everyone and their brother would know, minus my work (DOE not GAP and probably my mom). I'd start doing massive amounts of research online at work. I'd buy a few books about said location. I'd study the history, cultural norms, holidays, traditions, practice making their food, and see about finding a great dictionary. By the middle of January I'd just be waiting for June to come. That feeling would last until I don't know....May 25th or so. Maybe not knowing for a bit longer and just anticipating is best. But I check my email every hour for an email saying "Your toolkit has been updated". Of course once that happens I'll be calling home every hour to see if my mail came.

I guess that anticipation of an email has me a little strung out, hence the title. There's only so much reading of other blogs you can do until you feel wanting for more. Which by the way, I really do appreciate the people that actually read my random writings, complaining, and overly eager anticipation of receiving an email/letter. Really, any person that consistently keeps up with my ramblings is all right by me. I try to comment back with every person because I know when I comment to someone else's blog/email I'm secretly hoping for another comment. By the way, still waiting on an email back from someone else. Just threw that out there.

Time to day dream while at work.