Freaked

Not counting today, I'm due to leave for Ukraine in 28 days. SERIOUSLY!

I feel as though I have so much to do. Like pack. Which of course I've not started, cause that'd be dumb. But just the thought of packing freaks me out a bit. I mean thats 2 years in three bags!!!

On another note I asked around about how long people's aspiration statements were. I got "250-300 words" as the majority. So in my email to the country desk I threw in what I was told. I knew mine was a bit over but I stuck with it. Yesterday I got a reply saying "We got your aspiration statement but we'd like you to take out one word. You're over limit......kidding!" I about crapped myself. Really?! I mean all the stuff I've gotta do and you reply with that? Thats something I'd do.

Oh and I've got less than a month to learn as much Ukrainian as possible. Yeah thats not impossible. I look forward to butchering your language Ukrainians. It'll be glorious. :-)

Re-Evaluation

Yesterday was a rather "not great" day for the most part. Or so I thought.

Going to work when you know that in a month you'll be headed to live in another country for two years just bites. I mean it gives me little to no motivation to give 110%. Heck it doesn't give me motivation to give 60%. But alas I go and still give atleast 85%. I can't really measure it. Heading into lunch I was determined to attend Ash Wednesday.

This is where my normal day would be just grand. Mass at work. Sounds good. We had to sit in the balcony but were able to move down lower after ashes were delivered. Who was caddy corner (thats diagonal to those not in the midwest) from me? The love of my life.

...okay so she's not the love of my life. But she definitely WAS the love of my life...even though I never directly told her. Plus it doesn't help that she married a "gay guy" (his homosexuality is contested but many of us firmly believe that he is in fact gay and will come out one day). I ignored her presence. I've not talked to her in atleast a year. She caught me though. At the end of the service I bolted. In retrospect I feel ashamed of bolting and not trying to rekindle my friendship with this great person.

It all came down to the guy. I've never liked him. So the day was blah. Then I had dinner with my friend Laura. Laura and I had a good dinner and caught up a fair amount and in general had a nice time. But the convo turned to said individual and it was nice to hear that my impressions of him were coming out of her mouth and that she knows it was said by more than her and others. Yay? Not that I despise him...just bitter folks. A little bitterness is okay. I mean thats why I like dark chocolate.

But it brought up a big thing, experience. See this guy acts like he's better than others and doesn't recognize the help that he's been given. He ignores it or puts a blind eye to it. He talks himself up and the story just keeps going back to him. I hated that...still do.

I've compared myself to him on so many occassions. And part of me was just thinking "ha! I'm doing the Peace Corps you greedy and selfish American!" And then I felt bad...how bad? Bad bad. Like I should put myself in the corner for a good week to feel less guilty for those thoughts. I've been assured those thoughts are not uncommon.

In reality it made me re-evaluate not only my reasonings for the Peace Corps but what I want to do with life. Actually the entire convo with Laura put my life into perspective. I'm a good guy. Hey it's hard to come to that conclusion when you keep thinking about other things. Today I actually FELT grown up. Going to Starbucks and getting a latte, although not uncommon, it made me realize that in about a month I'll be walking around Ukraine. It made me feel...fresh. Like it's a new shot at things. Completely new surrounding and a new opportunity to experience life.

I'm not just doing the Peace Corps to be altruistic, none of us are really, but owning up to that made me feel better. I'm getting trained to speak another language, two years of living in another culture (which will MAJORLY boost my resume), volunteering my life (again...major boost), AND I get to help! How lucky am I?!?! I mean afterwards I'll just have to put down "PC Volunteer in Ukraine" and so many more jobs will open up to me. Hell I might be able to work overseas. Which is my dream.

Thinks are just starting to fall in place and for once I can notice it.

Because I'm slow

My address for training:
Jacob Moore, PCT
c/o Peace Corps/Ukraine
PO Box 298
01030
Kyiv, Ukraine

Lists

I've discovered that I've been making a lot of lists. For example I have the following lists (which is in itself a list):
-Stuff to buy
-Places to visit
-People to visit
-Places to eat
-Items to pack
-Things to do

From what I can remember this is the list I created for stuff to buy:
-Wool socks
-Watch w/ alarm clock
-Thermal underwear
-Back pack
-Duffel bag
-Money belt
-Sleeping bag
-Yaktraks
-Digital camera, rechargeable battery pack, and SD card
-DVD/CD case
-Dark slacks/jeans

So far I've got the backpack from Target. Its wicked cool. I can put my iPod in a little protective pouch and pull out the ear plugs. I grabbed two pairs of quick drying wick wool socks, Yaktraks (haven't tested them yet), and thermal underwear. Now I've never worn thermal underwear. The idea is foreign to me. Sounds interesting but it's foreign. Last night I tested out the long sleeve thermal shirt. I was sweaty by 3 am. It'll do!

I have the following to do:
-Letter of resignation, written but hasn't been signed
-Power of Attorney
-Taxes, doing this week I hope
-Student loan deferment, this week I hope
-Ticket to Florida, bought today!!!
-Finances, talk to bank about mutual fund or something
-Update license
-Absentee ballot, change of voting address

Well I'm off to look up stuff for absentee ballots.

15 days of work
25 days till Florida
34 days till staging (DEAR GOD!)

Bogged down

So there's a downside to accepting my invitation to Ukraine. I have little time. Like a little time.

All the postage I get and/or send has to be extremely urgent and sent overnight. It's crazy. I sent my Visa and Passport applications in yesterday. I can only pray that they were done correctly. I filled out both to my best abilities and I HOPE that I filled them out correctly.

And yet I have more to do. I've got 9 days to send out my aspiration statement and resume. It's a lot like bsing on two forms. Takes a bit of work. Any advice on aspiration statement? Could use it...

Accepted

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary for working at the DOE. One year of my life. Wow....anywho...

As I drove home I was thinking about what I would eat and where I left off in my book. When I got out of my car I noticed I was somewhat on the curve. Got in and readjusted. As soon as I turned off my car my phone rang. Digged it out under my winter wear and lo and behold a 202 number. Peace Corps. Knew it right away. "Hi Jacob..I've been reviewing your application and essays and thought you'd be a perfect fit for an earlier program. Would you be interested in changing your availability to an earlier time, say March?"

This is where life is trippy. A few days ago I made the comment that if placement called and asked me to leave earlier I would say yes before I hung up. I asked for more time.

I got a day.

I freaked out. Forgot stuff in my car, somehow lost my phone, dropped stuff. What do you do?! Who do you call? Do I tell my parents right now? Should I say no?

I frantically put stuff down, turned on my computer to find a HINT of where it would be, and called anyone I wanted to talk to about it. One person answered on the first time. Goes to show the moment you need to talk no ones available!

The uber excitement passed a bit when I talked to a roommate and my sister. Then another person. All of them pretty much said "go".

So I'm going.

I'm pretty sure it'll be to Ukraine but I'll get my packet of stuff here soon.

Life comes at you pretty fast...